Om my. This is what scares me about having a daughter!

she's 10, b. ten. i'm scared too. let's just send our daughters to the hills until they're 30 and done with their doctorates!

Daikan, I am not sure if this will be any help whatsoever, but here's my take on it; you can do with it as you wish:

My parents wanted to lock me up. They told me so on a regular basis. They viewed every friend of the opposite gender with immediate suspision and as I grew to a teenager the suspicion spread to *my* every move. It became a "if I'm going to do the time, I might as well commit the crime" thing for me (as well as a reaction to several things, my father's abandonment, for one). Yes, I had sex young (14). It didn't kill me. It's part of who I am. But it certainly wasn't the best possible choice I could make. If you want to try to establish that Anna won't make the same choice, here's my advice (I'm sure you already do all of this anyway but here goes):

Let her know that her worth is not based in the way she looks.
Give her the tools she needs from here on out to make the decisions that make the most sense for her *life*, and are not based on an unfullfilled need of some sort.
Outfit her with a massive bullshit dectector.
Give her the freedom to dress how she wants (within limits, of course - greyhounds on pre-teens are a bit disturbing) but point out to her *exactly* the impression she is making on the world, not just boys. (Example: "You look too sexy in that outfit" is not going to make her want to take it off. That's the point, right? Saying "You look like you don't expect respect" may make her think.)
Trust her. Trust her. Trust her. Let her know that you trust her decisions because you raised her well. Talk to her about what those decisions might be. Your disappointment may be all the 'deterrent' she needs to not be stupid about certain things - but only if you trust her.
Mostly, and most importantly and I cannot stress this enough, make sure she (and Conor) is/are hugged and loved by her family as much as possible. email me at dragonfyreATgmailDOTcom and I will be happy to elaborate why this is so important. It's a lengthy thing to explain.

Thanks for listening. This is all from my personal experience, of course, everything I remember from those horrid adolescent years. YMMV. Good luck.

(PS: I'm glad you and Anna are feeling better. Strep and migraines are never fun.)

i'm really sorry we didn't get to meet up.

the whole boy thing was just a bit of a shock to me. she's only 10, for crying out loud. the idea that she's hot is ridiculous!

she's got a really really good sense of self, which frankly sometimes causes problems when it comes to school...

i'm not terribly frightened of the idea of her having sex as a teenager, as long as she's protected...

we tell the kids all the time that we love them and we hug them lots. in kindergarden, conor was told by his teacher that he was allowed to hug just one fellow student per day--otherwise he hugged the rest of his class every morning. i'm not sure what i think of her requirements...but at least he wasn't hitting kids... my kids are also lucky enough to have a dad that really cares for them and takes time to be with them. and we have extended family (at least on my side...) that are wonderful to them as well.

i guess i just want her to be a little kid for a while longer. ten seems so young to be getting that kind of attention! my adolescent years weren't horrid, but they were painful enough that i want my kids to stay young until they're really ready...

i appreciate your words of wisdom! thanks for taking the time to write all that out. it's good to have a different perspective.